erratio: (Default)
An update on things is in order. Also I'm trying to write this before the lack-of-sleep-induced energy wears off and I collapse.

First: The hair. Everyone seems to think it looks good. What I didn't expect was the sudden popularity/attention that comes with suddenly looking a lot better overall than I did before said haircut. Which just goes to show what I've been saying all along, that everyone is hopelessly shallow and makes a lot of judgements at the purely superficial level.
Two things follow from this. I will never again forget how much difference appearance makes in how people treat you. Now I just have to overcome my innate resistance to doing things just for the sake of appearances and all will be well :p More likely I'll come to some kind of compromise between being a lazy slob and knowing when being a lazy slob is just not an option.
The second is that I haven't forgotten that these are the same people who happily ignored me before. The distrust that was trained into me by about six years of harassment at school is definitely rearing its head here. And at the same time as I accuse others of being shallow I can't help recognise the same thing in myself. A large part of me wants to pay attention to the way I look so that I can bask in the attention of others, despite this going counter to what I profess to believe in. So as is my habit I'm just telling the vain attention-seeking part of me to shut up so that I can get along with my life.

Last night I was talking with my mum and it turns out I never got around to telling her about my social problems in high school. So she never had any real idea that I'm very introverted and that the word antisocial comes to mind if I'm pressed to describe myself. I think she's a bit sad that pretty much the whole family (except my brother, but we knew he was a changeling anyway :p) turned out so introverted.

I had this all written out in my head during my long and boring work but the trip home seems to have knocked it all out of my head :( oh well. Maybe more and better expressed later.

In other news, as of 9:30am today it has been 30 and a half hours since I last slept. However in the last three days I have gotten sixteen hours sleep so it evens out. Sort of. I think I'm a little obsessed with my sleep behaviours these days.

UPDATE: I have now slept for about 6 hours and am alive again (sort of). First part of entry has been fixed. There's other stuff I also wanted to write but have forgotten.

Behold the link of funny-ness!


erratio: (Default)

June 2017

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