My own experience is that there's some of both going on. Some nerdy types genuinely find implicit social rules to be difficult to pick up (for whatever reason - I don't think I agree with my original theory anymore), which leads to negative feedback when they get it wrong, which in turn leads to a lot of uncertainty in new situations. But you're definitely right that a larger part of it is about just not being afraid, more than knowing the right signals. I've known people who blatantly break social conventions all the time but still get along with others just fine.
Oh and tangentially, social anxiety blocks the ability to learn social cues - the brain does not learn well while distressed, and if you're distressed every time you're in a social situation then you could be staring at the most skilled person the entire time and not learn a single thing about how they do it.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: I'm not sure ...
Date: 2011-01-02 09:03 pm (UTC)Oh and tangentially, social anxiety blocks the ability to learn social cues - the brain does not learn well while distressed, and if you're distressed every time you're in a social situation then you could be staring at the most skilled person the entire time and not learn a single thing about how they do it.