erratio: (Default)
So there's this idea, backed up by fairly solid studies, that a very large part of what most people think is 'talent' or 'genius' or whatever your preferred term for innate skill is, is actually just the result of a very long time spent practicing those skills. Around ten thousand hours or so, to be more specific - that's the amount of time most people need to spend practicing a skill in order to master it.

The other day the obvious-in-hindsight realisation struck me that I spent most of my childhood mastering skills that are completely useless to me in the grand scheme of things, and very little time mastering skills that are useful to my current work. As a result, I often feel incompetent because the skills I'm using aren't the ones that I'm especially practiced at.

Things I am almost certain I've spent at least 10,000 hours doing:
  •  Dancing,  most of which was ballet: I eventually failed at this because of hard physical constraints (eg. my hips are extremely stiff/inflexible) and because I hated performing on stage, but I did pick up a couple of superpowers along the way, like my near-eidetic memory for sequences of steps* and my ability to ignore the cold in the depths of winter as long as I'm within a 3 minute window of doing ballet (before or after)
  • Reading, especially fantasy fiction: Very large vocabulary, fast reading speed
  • Sitting and paying attention to teachers: yup, I am pro at this.
Things I have spent less than 10k hours on, but a heck of a lot more time than many others in the same class:
  • Programming - I would put my mastery level somewhere in the level of hundreds of hours, at most 1k. I appear superpowered to most of my grad colleagues, but I'm achingly aware of just how many gaps I still have and how long it sometimes takes me to do what I feel ought to be very trivial tasks
  • Video games/boardgames: Probably around the 2k hour mark, maybe higher (My childhood was basically evenly split between dancing, videogames, and school). Gave me the ability to quickly orient myself in new internally-consistent systems, to make decent chocies in those systems without a complete explicit understanding of what constitutes a good choice, and to locate loopholes/synergies/imbalances in said systems. Also, encyclopedic knowledge of the standard fantasy depictions of medieval weapons, warfare, life and philosophy, some of which bears a decent resemblance to the real thing. But again, I'm achingly aware of how bad I am at all these things relative to the real experts
  • Being on the Interwebs: 'nuff said
Things I have not spent anywhere near enough time on to feel even close to being an expert, but wish I had:
  • Working on stuff in a consistent and/or timely manner regardless of motivation levels
  • Talking to people, both in the sense of small talk/hanging out and of being able to persuade/argue coherently in real time
  • Fashion/personal appearance: Although I'm led to believe that there's a ton of low-hanging fruit here that would require less than 20 hours to learn
  • Academic/nonfiction writing: I'm a lot better at this than a random person off the street, but not relative to my peers
  • Critical thinking, with emphasis on the critical: For some reason as a kid it virtually never occurred to me that I could/should question the way things were; I treated everything as hard constraints that needed to be routed around if I didn't like them rather than challenged directly. I still have some of that mentality, where I take things as given that I have the power to change or should be least be more critical of

Audience participation: What areas have you spent your 10k hours on? Are they directly related to what you're doing now?
erratio: (Default)
I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I'm frequently abrasive and downright antisocial. Nevertheless, there is this thing called 'society' which decrees that in order to have a fulfilling life I must participate in it every now and then. And to do so requires these so-called 'social' 'skills'. So anyway, I would like to point the following things out:

1) I am aware that I am socially not the most able of people
2) I would like to fix this because making other people unhappy doesn't make me happy, especially when said other people are my friends
3) I do not possess telepathy. Therefore, it follows that often when I do something that others are unhappy with I will not always realise that I have done so
4) It really upsets/frustrates me to realise later that all this time I've been continually engaging in behaviour X that other people don't like, and I could potentially have fixed it
5) I can't fix behaviour X if I don't realise that I'm doing it or that it's causing upset to other people

So anyway, this is a request to everyone who I speak to on a regular basis - If I'm being a jerk, don't just write it off as "Jen is just being Jen", or even worse, go away and sulk about it for a while and then act as though there's nothing wrong, or bitch about it to everyone but me. Tell me that I'm being a jerk, and how. I can't guarantee I won't get sulky at the time. But I can guarantee that I'll give it serious thought once I cool off, and probably come to some decision that will hopefully come through in future interactions.

Want an example? In high school I was socially non-existent, I had no one I would consider a friend. So when I got to uni all the interacting with people was something new I had to deal with, and a little overwhelming. One of the ways I dealt (or didn't deal as the case may be) with it was by getting really pissed off when anyone did something that annoyed me. Finally one of my friends had had enough and called me out on it, saying that it was difficult to be friends with someone who just got pissed off all the time. It was a figurative bucket of cold water to me and really pulled me up short. Since that day I don't think I've ever gotten so stupidly angry as I did back then. I realised that people aren't going to stop doing things that I find annoying, so either I need to stop finding it as annoying, or find a way to cope that doesn't involve getting pissed off and then taking it out on everyone around me. And I wouldn't have if that friend hadn't taken the trouble to explain to me what it was that I was doing wrong. They didn't have to. Instead they could have taken the typical route of just putting distance between themselves and me, and left me alone and wondering what it was I had done that they no longer wanted to spend time around me.

So yeh. I'm not psychic, and I won't magically get better by myself. I am firmly in the camp that believes that a real friend is the person who will tell you that yes, you really do look fat in those pants, your boyfriend left you because you were being an idiot and not because he's an asshole, and that people would be a lot nicer to you if you didn't go around being so pissed off at them all the time. Tell me.

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erratio

September 2019

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