Progress report

[erratio]

So two weeks on with my whole not being Jewish thing, a couple of points have come up. The first being that I told my family and got even less response than I was expecting (I wasn't expecting Mum to be terribly bothered in the first place, since she's been known to eat ham and bacon occasionally). Turns out she's much more concerned about the identity and 'marrying in' parts than the religous bits. And since I've already told her multiple times that I don't intend to make a special effort to marry in, that's pretty much the end of that problem. The second being that I still haven't gotten around to putting a pork product in my mouth, partly because I don't eat much meat to start with, but also because it turns out that I developed an aversion to the idea of eating pork in much the same way that I'm not keen on eating anything from McDonalds or KFC, despite having eaten there with great enjoyment in the distant past. I think about eating them and get a response from my brain indicating that they're not really food and if I want food I should go eat something else. So I'll basically have to go out of my way to eat some ham occasionally until I've convinced myself that pigs are edible after all.

In non-religious news, thesis is coming along nicely, but so is the deadline. As of today I have 3 weeks left to finish writing, polish it, and then get it printed, bound, and handed in. Scary stuff. I'm enjoying it a fair bit though, when it's not tedious or anxiety-provoking. Enough to continue with this academic writing stuff in the future? Maybe. I'll see how I'm feeling in 3 weeks.

In other other news, I'm still visting a psychologist on a regular basis. Progress there is not coming along so nicely, it's more of the one step forward, two steps to the side and then do-si-do around your partner before heading back to where you started variety of progress. Actually, that's not entirely true, I do think I'm slowly making real progress, it's just frustrating not to be improving faster. And to add insult to injury somewhat my psychologist reckons that my perception that I still have so far to go is itself symptomatic of my overly-perfectionistic thinking. So, uh, I guess that when I stop feeling like I need to make progress to be normal, that's when I'll know that I've achieved normality?

Comments

[axl12.livejournal.com]

I used to not eat pork as well, this is when I was teenager,
for purposes of avoiding acne :)

Pork has to be cooked really nicely to be enjoyable.
Choose free range pork if possible, ditto with ham & bacon.
I'm not keen on McD & KFC too.

[mme-n-b.livejournal.com]

Ummm... you do realize, that not being Judaic doesn't make you not Jewish, right? There are lots of Jewish atheists out there. On the other hand, saying "I am not Jewish" does, as far as most non-Nazis are concerned, so that's a good thing.

Another good thing is that if pork freaks you out you can get the same result with a nice shrimp salad, Unagi sushi (tasty!), oysters (bonus points for non-kosher Chardonnay) or rabbit.

[erratio.livejournal.com]

Yah, I do, this was more of a realisation about which parts of my identity actually matter to me. The whole kosher thing was basically me feeling guilty that I wasn't able to be more Jewish (I dislike most of the Jewish community, am atheist, don't care about marrying in or not, etc.). My big epiphany was that I'm already not Jewish in pretty much every way that matters, so feeling guilty about it is silly.

[mme-n-b.livejournal.com]

Once you realize that it's not a religion thing you find there is more than one Jewish community :) Some aren't even all that Jewish :) As we say in Russia, "anyone willing to stand up in a Polish marketplace and admit to being a kike is a Jew".

[erratio.livejournal.com]

ok sure, but what reason is there to identify as a Jew? It makes literally no difference to the way I act. Why should I seek out a Jewish community anywhere if I don't draw a strong distinction between Jews and other people in the first place?

[mme-n-b.livejournal.com]

Being a Jew isn't something you do for a reason, nor is it something that would make you seek out any sort of community, or something that should change the way you act. It's more like being black, or Chinese, or genetically female - a fact of life, not a decision to make. Deciding not to identify yourself as a Jew, on the other hand, is a decision, just as, for a Chinese female, it is a decision to openly claim that she is a non-Chinese male.

[erratio.livejournal.com]

I don't think we're actually disagreeing then. My decision to not identify myself as a Jew is because I don't think it's an important part of identity, the same way that race, gender, and sexuality shouldn't be the most important features of anyone's identity. I don't feel a need to constantly declare to the world that I'm female or straight either, although I would say so if it was relevant.

[mme-n-b.livejournal.com]

I don't think we ever disagreed to begin with :)
But seriously, unagi is waaaaay better than pork ;)

[mme-n-b.livejournal.com]

N. B. when I say "you" I do not mean you, personally. I would say "one", but that sounds unbearably pompous.